Hello there...

 

So… I didn’t think I would be here again… New blog, old hurts. Maybe some new thoughts, yeah, that’d be nice. I’ve been writing blogs for over 10 years now, blogs about me…

 

*he smiles*

 

It was never about ego. Well, maybe a little bit. But my main goal was just to write things in my mind. Perhaps to explain who I am and why I think the way I think. What I think about… A futile attempt to replace my non-existent social skills with “intellectual” ones. It took me a while to understand that after a certain limit, no amount of words can make people’s hearts get any closer. At least not if one sided…

 

And yet… Here I am. Again, doing the same, trying to show something about me, what I seem to be unable to share in simple small talk. Why…?

 

“Have I ever told you the definition of insanity…?”

 

Of course… Insanity, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Am I insane for doing this again? Once again opening myself to the abys of silent net. Perhaps, some part of me likes the idea of me going, at least partially, crazy. To laugh at the world, out of both enjoyment and desperation. To break some inhibitions, to do whatever I feel… But that isn’t real insanity anyway…

 

Even so… No… I’m not going insane. It turns out, in life, it’s actually verry difficult to do the exact same thing over and over again.

 

“Let a complex system repeat itself long enough, eventually something surprising might occur.”

 

See? Something surprising might occur. Life is a complex system after all. New experiences, new people… Even someone as socially disconnected as me cannot escape at least some interaction. And maybe that interaction will be different than before, because of something I cannot see, or predict.

 

So… That’s it… A blog of some overly opinionated jerk, fighting with social anxiety, emotional baggage and overeating. Sounds about right. Thanks for reading and see you around.